Are We There Yet?

I learned the hard way that I cannot tell my kids that we are going to The Magic House until we are literally pulling our mini van into the parking lot. As soon as the “ma” passes through my lips their eyes start to twitch and confetti explodes out of their ears.

If I give them any advance warning whatsoever, every waking minute leading up to the time we leave is spent like this: “Is it time to go yet?” “Not yet.” “Is it time to go yet?” “Not yet.” (Repeat every five seconds until we are pulling out of the driveway en route to The Magic House or I commit myself to an insane asylum, whichever comes first).

And I totally get it. As a kid the closest thing we had to a Magic House in our town was the Wellers' meth lab a few trailers down. If we got to go to a magical place filled with wonder and a giant bean stalk I probably would have had a seizure. That's pretty much my equivalent to “uphill both ways in the snow” by the way.

In fact, even as an adult I get excited about taking my kids there and that's saying a lot considering I usually fight the urge to open the door, push the stroller in and run away when we go to most kid friendly attractions. Don't worry – I would totally give them a five spot for snacks and come back to pick them up after a few hours. Probably.

What made our trip last week notable, though, is that all three of my kids have entered the “why” phase. You know – the phase that makes you travel to the furthest reaches of your brain, trying to remember things like why magnets stick together or the life cycle of a frog or who makes the laws or why the sky is blue or why birds lay eggs or why Mommy is rubbing her temples and taking medicine.

We visited the Magic School Bus, an interactive weather exhibit, which sent my kids into orbit because they are OBSESSED with weather. Why is it raining? Why is it snowing? Why are there clouds? Why is it windy? Why isn't the moon out tonight?

I asked the Parents as Teachers lady how to best handle questions I didn't know the answer to (every weather question EVER) and she suggested we make it a team project and look up the questions on the Internet and then develop some sort of science experiment to visually demonstrate the answer.

I prefer a less time-intensive method; personifying everything and turning it into a magical fairy tale. Like, the princess moon is scared of the troll stars and she's hiding in the tower tonight. Sounds totally believable to a 3-year-old.

Another alternative is taking them to the Magic School Bus exhibit, and with the answers at my finger tips I looked like a regular Arthur Einstein. That's Albert's younger and slightly stupider brother.

Of course we also visited the famous giant electric ball where I found out that you can pass electricity from one person to another. It was reminiscent of a little game I used to play with my cousins called “The Electric People Chain.” The Electric People Chain involves an electric cow fence and no fear of brain damage or death, and all I can say is that you didn't want to be on the end.

Wait a minute... I suddenly have an idea for a little Parents as Teachers at-home science experiment to demonstrate the power of electricity. My kids will totally thank me when they get an A on their science test.

Photos by Hannah Mayer