Look, Dad, No Hands!
At the park we get a lot of weird looks
He’s wiping noses and he cleans and he cooks
And when I’m standing at the top of that slide
All the Moms are freaking when he goes for a ride
– from the song “Stay-At-Home Dad” by Justin Roberts
The stereotype of men as the ones who toss babies in the air, wrestle on the floor with preschoolers and throw out their backs playing tackle football with teenagers holds true in real life. And it’s great for kids who get this kind of interaction from their dads, both boys and girls.
Exploring new places and situations helps kids’ brains develop. It keeps the connections between neurons firing. As much as we moms are nurturing and all, it’s actually dads who are better at giving kids the necessary arm’s-length distance to explore.
A new study about “activation theory” found that fathers were less protective of their toddlers in a situation that a 12- to 18-month-old child might find risky, like having a stranger around or climbing a staircase to get a toy. Fathers tended to let their child get an arm’s length away on the stairs.
Children who have a parent nearby but not too close develop more self-confidence and are less risk averse. Interestingly, boys were more likely to explore without being rule-breakers; researchers called such children “optimally stimulated.” The numbers were pretty drastic: 71 percent of boys were optimally stimulated, while 70 percent of girls were risk-averse.
Another researcher who’s written about these gender differences is Lise Eliot. In her book Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow Into Troublesome Gaps – And What We Can Do About It, she says that all parents tend to be gentler with and more protective of girls. With both boys and girls, mothers are generally more protective than fathers. She encourages moms to do some wrestling and dads to give their girls the same arm’s length as their boys.
I’m currently reading her book, and I’ll be back with more about boys’ and girls’ brains in a few days. Stay tuned … and in the meantime, don’t freak out when your kid’s standing at the top of that slide.
By Amy De La Hunt, Health Blogger for SmartParenting
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Amy De La Hunt is a journalist and editor who lives in the St. Louis metro area and works across the country as a writer, copy editor, project manager and editorial consultant on everything from fiction books to monthly magazines to blog posts. When she's not chauffeuring her teenage sons to activities, Amy is an enthusiastic amateur cook, landscaper, Latin dancer and traveler. Follow Amy on Instagram @amy_in_words
