Vacationing with your Baby? Get Ready to be Judged.

Welcome to Mom's Happy Hour, in which we sort through the latest news about parents, parenting and pop culture so you don't have to.

Don’t go on vacation with your baby

As parents, we all get panic attacks when our little one cries on the airplane or gets too loud at Steak n Shake. In most cases, it’s worse on us than the other patrons. While most are annoyed by the sounds of a 1-year-old, many people will pat us soothingly and say, “It’s ok, honey. We’ve all been there.”

But for one family on a ski trip, their consolation was a note stuffed under their hotel room door criticizing them for letting their baby cry during the night. The writer, who was actually a parent, blasted the family for – shock – bringing their child on a family vacation. To a family-oriented resort. In turn, the baby’s uncle wrote a scathing response on The Huffington Post, defending his family.

Believe me, when our child cries in public, we as parents feel horrible. In between the prayers and begging and the overwhelming feeling of nausea, we’re terrified of others’ reactions. If we’re bringing a toddler to the midnight showing of Pompeii, by all means, judge away. But if we just want to grab a burger, give a parent a little slack. And maybe a little shoulder squeeze out of camaraderie.

Also, don’t go on vacation without your baby

Speaking of judgment, Prince William and Duchess Kate were criticized by magazines in Great Britain for leaving Prince George at home while they went on a trip to the Maldives. It’s not surprising considering they left him with pizza money and strict instructions not to throw any parties. It’s like they’ve never seen Risky Business!

So now parents can’t have for time by themselves. It doesn’t matter that Will and Kate actually left George with his beloved grandparents who “spoiled him rotten” according to People.

The truth is, parents – even royal ones – need a little time to regroup and reconnect, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, in a very, very unscientific poll on Today.com, 88 percent of respondents say it’s ok to go on vacation without your baby.

For the 11 percent who will only take vacations with baby in tow – watch out at ski resorts. For the rest of us, you’re banned from leaving your home without Junior until you get a pass to attend his high school graduation.

Never has a song from Frozen made me so uncomfortable

Not to be upstaged by 5-year-olds, two parents decided to take their shot at YouTube stardom by posting their own performance of “Love Is an Open Door.”

The humbly-named Good Looking Parents Sing Disney’s Frozen features a mom and dad, who are yes, incredibly talented, singing the duet with Broadway-esque facial expressions. All the while, their daughter in the back seat yawns, chews a book and mentally raps “Straight Outta Compton” to keep from launching herself out the window.

For some reason, the Plegges’ “Greasy-Haired, Prematurely-Wrinkled Parents Sing Mel McDaniels’ ‘Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On’” continues to get overshadowed by these freaks of perfection.

 

Little Photoshop mistake shows a big Photoshop problem

Target decided to turn one of its teen swimsuit model into a living Barbie doll by accidentally Photoshopping out her lady parts – creating the opposite version of the camel toe.

While it’s an epic Photoshop fail and one that got the Internet giggling, the problem is that mistake uncovers a more apparent problem. Specifically, why is Target taking the extra steps to Photoshop the bodies of young models who are wearing swimsuits geared to tweens and teens? The designer was apparently told to elongate and thin out the young women’s legs as well as their arms and hips, building models that make Olive Oyl look positively curvy.

So, so wrong.

It’s a good example to show young girls how companies manipulate images of women. You can say pictures are Photoshopped, but to have a clear-cut example hits closer to home.

Dad turns parenting phrases into works of art

Have you ever told your toddler, “Stop licking the bottom of your shoe,” and immediately thought, “Hey, that would make a great poster for my wall?”

Well, artist Nathan Ripperger did just that - visually bringing to life the phrases he never thought he would say before becoming the father of four. Through his series, Things I’ve Said to My Children, Ripperger complements absurd admonishments like “Did you put honey on your brother’s head?” and “Stop riding that penguin. We’re leaving.” with unique graphics and typography to create ridiculous posters you would actually want to put on your walls.

Ripperger has opened a whole new market. For the embroiderers who want to capture “The dog’s tail is not a lollipop” to the sculptors who want to shape “Stop talking to that lady about nipples,” there’s now a world of opportunity for you.

Photos/Images: Main: iStock; Target; Things I've Said to My Children via flickr; Today Moms.

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Metro East mom Nicole Plegge has written for STL Parent for more than 12 years. Besides working as a freelance writer & public relations specialist, and raising two daughters and a husband, Nicole's greatest achievements are finding her misplaced car keys each day and managing to leave the house in a stain-free shirt. Her biggest regret is never being accepted to the Eastland School for Girls. Follow Nicole on Twitter @STLWriterinIL 

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